I just reviewed a book for Cedar Fort. Here's the information on it. If you or anyone you know has someone chronically ill in their lives, this is an excellent resource. I really enjoyed the book.

Christy

When Someone You love Has Chronic Illness, written by Dr. Tamara McClintock Greenberg, brings the important topic of chronic illness to the forefront, allowing readers to become aware of all aspects of a problem most all of us will have to face in our lives. It is a concise review of every facet of this issue—brought into focus in everyday language with examples we can all relate to.

As a retired Marriage and Family Therapist, I had many clients faced with situations such as Dr. Greenberg describes in her book. I would have loved a valuable tool such as this book to discuss with my clients. It will become a guide and support to all who read it.

Dr. Greenberg discusses the following topics:

1.      Living Longer

2.      How to talk about illness

3.      How to deal with doctors

4.      Addressing denial

5.      Can you give too much

6.      Getting support

7.      Coping with loved one’s pain

8.      Staying connected

9.      Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

10.  Dealing with loss

Thank you Dr. Greenberg for this well-written volume of pertinent research presented with in-depth discussions, and shared through compassionate understanding.

I recommend this book as a healing tool for anyone who has been associated with chronically ill loved ones.

http://whensomeoneyoulovehasachronicillness.com/

A Melody of Love

She asked me to teach her piano lessons.  I teach the other grandkids.  I told her I would when she was ready to listen and follow directions.  A few months later she told me she was ready and we began. 

Since I only see her on weekends, we only got to practice about twice a week.  Progress was slow but steady.  She was cooperative.  She had good hand position and posture.  She listened well.  She memorized quickly.  She seemed to enjoy it.

When her dad moved out, I wondered how to keep her going.  We needed a new routine.  We began picking her up from daycare several times a week and bringing her home to practice.  It's working well, but I know that it may not be sustainable.  She needs a piano at home.

I don’t really have the money to buy her a piano, but I know that someone has a piano they don’t need.  I just need to find them.  I decided to try facebook.

On facebook I said I was looking for a free piano.  In a short time I received a message from a dear cousin.  We were close as children, but didn’t connect much in our adult lives.  Recently we have reconnected. 

“I have my mother’s piano,” she said. “It’s the one I learned to play on.  I don’t use it anymore.” 

My cousin has a lovely grand piano now, but has been storing this old friend for twenty years or more. Her piano friend once belonged to our grandmother, then was sold to my cousin’s mother.  My cousin acquired it after she was married and enjoyed it for many years.

I love the rhythm of this melody. This is a melody of love.  My cousin is giving a treasured friend to a child who shares her heritage.  A child she doesn't know. 

My granddaughter is getting the piano that once belonged to her great great grandmother--a woman she never met in this life.  She will know little of the memories housed in that seasoned instrument, but she can create her own.

Linda Garner

Click here to see moving day pictures and read about the fond farewell.

Creating a Moral Dilemma for your characters

            I love my DVD’s of Lark Rise to Candleford. It’s a BBC production that had four seasons. The actors are great and the setting is well-defined, but the thing that draws me to the series is the writing. Each episode is set up for character definition, character insight and character growth. Protagonists are faced with moral dilemmas that push them toward personal change.

            For instance: Dorcas, the postmistress, knows the secrets of the two dress-maker sisters that keep the shop next door. Should she continue to keep the secrets as each sister confides in her or should she reveal the truths so that the sisters can work out their problems together?

            Daniel, an out-of-town journalist, has written a slanderous story about the people of Lark Rise. He has promised the Lark Rise parents of the girl he loves that he will not see their daughter until he apologizes to the town folk he has offended. Can he keep that promise?

            Our characters do not grow and change unless we give them hard things to overcome. Linda Garner has written an excellent children’s story about a little girl who is the victim of bullying. She grows and changes as she solves her problem.

            I have to keep this idea constantly in my mind because I’m the queen of dropping tension and solving the protagonist’s problems for them. I need to let them face their moral dilemmas and work through their own troubles. I must trust that they will come through. And, you know what! They always do!

Happy Writing! Christy Monson

Just a Stage I'm Going Through

Friend-husband and I love a night out at the theater.  Hale Center Theater is our favorite treat. We have never been disappointed.  Hale Center has a magical stage, and they combine it with amazing talent for memorable performances.  We never tire of it.

I once had the opportunity to tour that amazing Theater with a high school group.  We learned some of the secrets of the magical stage, and saw the underbelly of the theater.  We saw rehearsal halls, the costume store, and the green room.  Our hostess also engaged us in some theater exercises.

What I remember most from that visit was a comment made by our hostess, who also directs.  She posed a question.  “If I can choose from a very talented actor who is moody or difficult to work with or a less-talented actor who is agreeable and pleasant to work with, who do you think I would choose?”

Interesting question, don’t you think.

If you guessed talent, think again.  When casting a part, our hostess said,"congeniality wins over talent every time.  I can teach talent.  It is difficult to teach good manners.”

What a powerful thought. 

It’s no fun to work with someone who is controlling, abusive, pouty, or unreliable, no matter how talented they are.  I’ve experienced it.  You have too.  Once burned, we are sometimes more cautious about getting involved with someone who is difficult to work with. 

That’s a valuable lesson.  An even more valuable lesson is…Don’t be that person.  Don’t be the person who is difficult to work with. 

If you think your way is the only way, think again.  Are you a person who is fun to work with?  Would someone go out of their way to spend time with you?

I want to be fun to work with.  I try not to pout when I don’t get my way. I rarely throw temper tantrums   I’m not usually moody or manipulative, except on bad days.   On bad days,  I think it’s...

just a stage I’m going through.

Linda Garner

 

How do I make a scene live?

I’ve just been reading John Brown’s presentation on Story. He gives such good insightful inspirational information at conferences. I love hearing him over and over because his material is relevant and motivational.

He says it’s the responsibility of the storyteller to create enough tension to make the reader wonder what will happen next. He goes on to talk about showing versus telling. Sometimes I find myself showing a scene and then telling what just happened. I’m getting better at cutting out the telling part, but I still do it some of the time.

Sometimes I get so involved in what’s happening to my characters that I forget to give enough explanation to my reader. They are going, “What?” Then I have to stop and slow down—envision what I want the reader to know, and then explain myself through the picture I’m painting.

Another aspect of story John Brown discusses is how much to reveal. When I first began writing, I was eager to spill all the information and back story pertaining to the characters in the first chapter. I have learned to back off in this area and plan out my reveals. Sometimes I’m still not wonderful at doing it, but I’m getting better.

Isn’t that what we’re all about? Getting better? I hope!

Happy Writing! Christy Monson

Summer, I will miss you ....a little

First thing...I'm BACK! Summer was a great break, but it's time to get back to work!

Second, I always feel a little twinge of sadness when my kids have to go back to school in the fall.

I’ll miss our daily activities and spending leisurely moments by the pool with them. 

This is the last year we will all be together as a little family. My oldest is moving from high school to college. Life is changing.

But I can always feel the excitement in the air during this time. The chance for extra writing time, the renewal of adventure. Sometimes I feel like this:

(Oooo, I need to buy some school supplies)

So instead of pouting (really...sulking into pillow because my kids can't be THAT old yet), I will look at the bright side of things and my renewed spirit of writing. 

How about you? What will you miss about summer? What will you not miss?

Have a great week everyone! I've gotta get my butt in the chair for some good writing time. ;)

I just finished a manuscript and submitted it to my critique group. I admit I was in a hurry to get it done. I had family coming and lots to do. I just whipped out the end, and I was finished.

Well, I don’t need to tell you it was a lame ending. The group told me it should be fleshed out a little. The scene left them wanting. They asked to know how the characters felt. I could go on and on.

Where was my mistake? My characters had a problem to solve by the end of the book. They did that, but it was without feeling—without much thought.

What do I need to do differently? I failed to put myself into the scene. It didn’t live through my words. My readers need to be there with me. How can they when I’m not there myself?

I took some time and went back to envision the scene in great detail. I sat in my character’s place and listened to their feelings.

Then I rewrote the scene. Was it better? I’ll know after my group reads it this week.

Sloppy hurried-up writing is just that. It never pays.

Will I remember this lesson? I hope so—at least for today.

Happy writing! Christy Monson