I love to laugh. I love people who make me laugh. It is an art to be sure. Some of the best writing can make you laugh and cry at the same time. I love writing that makes me feel something and invites me to do something. Maybe it invites me to change, but at the same time it lightens my load a little by making me laugh. Maybe it helps me learn to laugh at my self.
I’d like to put more humor in my writing, but I haven’t figured it out yet. Learning to laugh at life is one thing, but writing about it is another. I critique with some very witty ladies. They make me smile. They make me laugh. I don’t know how they do it.
Someday I’m going to write something hysterical and tickle your funny bone, but for now, I’m just happy to have friends that make me laugh.
In spite of the fact that I can’t write funny, I do have a funny story to tell.
My son, Devin got a very scary phone call last Wednesday. Devin is not known for being a good driver. He loves speed. He has never worried about speeding tickets. He enjoys speeding so much that he doesn’t mind paying the fines. Because his tickets were often in different counties or even states, they never really caught up with his driving record, until recently. In December he got one too many speeding tickets and in February he was notified that he had too many points. His license was revoked and he humbly showed up for traffic school to take some points off his record. Without traffic school, his license would be suspended for 3 months and he would be reduced to walking and bumming rides.
We cheered a little at his discomfort, because we had tried everything to get him to slow down. He couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He said, “Why didn’t you tell me they could take my license away? I’d have stopped speeding if I’d known that.” Why didn’t we tell him?
Everything worked out. He got his license reinstated and became very motivated to avoid speeding tickets. Even with traffic school he couldn’t afford any more points for two years. Even a minor ticket would put him over the point limit, with a mandatory suspension of at least 3 months. They only allow you a one time chance at traffic school, so he knew if he got another ticket he was wannabee driver.
Back to the scary phone call. Last Wednesday a woman from the Highway Patrol called and told Devin that he had been clocked at 5 miles over the speed limit several times on I-15 by their aerial tracking equipment. She named the day and indeed Devin had traveled from Idaho to Utah on that very day. The citations for those speeding violations were in the mail and Devin had 24 hours to surrender his license or a warrant would be issued for his arrest. Devin was stunned. He had questions. The woman had no answers, but she gave him a number to call.
Aerial tracking equipment? Five miles over the speed limit? Warrant for my arrest? Devin tried to make sense of this information and finally called the number he had been given. To his relief, the voice on the other end was friendly, even familiar.
“April Fool!” said a familiar voice. That familiar voice was the voice of his girlfriend.
Love that Girl!
Linda Garner
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tagged
This is a first for me. Yes, I have never been tagged before (thanks L.T.). Well, not on a blogger before. So, seven things you don’t know about me. Okay, here it goes:
1. When I was little, I use to have a pet spider that lived in my closet. I named him George and talked to him everyday. Then suddenly, without a good-bye, he was gone. Nobody really knows what happened to him, I think he sold his stuff and joined a circus. Mom said he needed to be with his ancestors before him. I never quit knew what she …. OH….Oh no! Poor George
2. I once serenaded L.T. in my sister-in-law’s bathroom. Now before you jump to any conclusions… we were helping my wonderful sister-in-law clean her house. You should have heard the song, it was awesome…Oh I’m cleaning the toilet, yes I’m cleaning the toilet….Then there were some talk about helping third world gypsies get toilets, some type of fundraiser or something.
3. I have a terrible fear of throwing-up. It’s true. I will lay on the floor for hours staring up at the ceiling (not moving) for fear that one ounce of vomit may choose to slither its way up my throat. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, tells me I should just march around the house until all that stuff begins to blow. I politely say, “Um…No thanks,” and continue to count the water marks on the sky above me.
4. I can’t scream. When I try my voice gets all squeaky and everyone gets all giggly. So there isn’t much screaming that goes on in my house. But look out! If I sound like a doggie’s squeaky toy, you’ll know - I’m in a really bad mood!
5. Cold syrup makes me high. Even just a little and I’m feeling might fine. I once took cold syrup before church services (and it was testimony meeting). Let’s just say I’ve gone down in history as the only person who was crying and blabbering so much that no one could understand what I was saying. I don’t take cold medicine before church anymore.
6. I am not a funny person. I would like to be someday. One day I would love to spout something completely funny off to someone who’s made me mad. But until that day, I will just stare at the offender with my mouth hung open, or mumble something about my pet spider getting squished.
7. I love yams. I know, you can stop gagging now. You see, I have this great recipe, a couple cups of brown sugar and about 20-30 marshmallows. Mmmmmm. Love it! Oh, but be forewarned – Don’t …what ever you do…Don’t warm them up in the microwave! It just doesn’t work! (Remember my old post about marshmallows?)
Okay, so I hope you didn't know that about me, and if you do “SURPRISE” rerun!
Now I get the great opportunity to tag seven other people….and I don’t know if I actually know that many, but I’ll do my best:
First, I have to choose Linda! I’m dying to find out seven things we don’t know about you! Hee hee.
Brandilyn, if you can get to the lappy.
Tony T.
Cindy T. Cindy H, Debbie M., one more….one more….Okay, I’m reaching, but how about Stephen King. Never read your scary books, but maybe you can scare us all with seven things we don’t know about you! Sounds pretty spooky just thinking about it!
Have a great week guys! See ya next Thursday ;p
1. When I was little, I use to have a pet spider that lived in my closet. I named him George and talked to him everyday. Then suddenly, without a good-bye, he was gone. Nobody really knows what happened to him, I think he sold his stuff and joined a circus. Mom said he needed to be with his ancestors before him. I never quit knew what she …. OH….Oh no! Poor George
2. I once serenaded L.T. in my sister-in-law’s bathroom. Now before you jump to any conclusions… we were helping my wonderful sister-in-law clean her house. You should have heard the song, it was awesome…Oh I’m cleaning the toilet, yes I’m cleaning the toilet….Then there were some talk about helping third world gypsies get toilets, some type of fundraiser or something.
3. I have a terrible fear of throwing-up. It’s true. I will lay on the floor for hours staring up at the ceiling (not moving) for fear that one ounce of vomit may choose to slither its way up my throat. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, tells me I should just march around the house until all that stuff begins to blow. I politely say, “Um…No thanks,” and continue to count the water marks on the sky above me.
4. I can’t scream. When I try my voice gets all squeaky and everyone gets all giggly. So there isn’t much screaming that goes on in my house. But look out! If I sound like a doggie’s squeaky toy, you’ll know - I’m in a really bad mood!
5. Cold syrup makes me high. Even just a little and I’m feeling might fine. I once took cold syrup before church services (and it was testimony meeting). Let’s just say I’ve gone down in history as the only person who was crying and blabbering so much that no one could understand what I was saying. I don’t take cold medicine before church anymore.
6. I am not a funny person. I would like to be someday. One day I would love to spout something completely funny off to someone who’s made me mad. But until that day, I will just stare at the offender with my mouth hung open, or mumble something about my pet spider getting squished.
7. I love yams. I know, you can stop gagging now. You see, I have this great recipe, a couple cups of brown sugar and about 20-30 marshmallows. Mmmmmm. Love it! Oh, but be forewarned – Don’t …what ever you do…Don’t warm them up in the microwave! It just doesn’t work! (Remember my old post about marshmallows?)
Okay, so I hope you didn't know that about me, and if you do “SURPRISE” rerun!
Now I get the great opportunity to tag seven other people….and I don’t know if I actually know that many, but I’ll do my best:
First, I have to choose Linda! I’m dying to find out seven things we don’t know about you! Hee hee.
Brandilyn, if you can get to the lappy.
Tony T.
Cindy T. Cindy H, Debbie M., one more….one more….Okay, I’m reaching, but how about Stephen King. Never read your scary books, but maybe you can scare us all with seven things we don’t know about you! Sounds pretty spooky just thinking about it!
Have a great week guys! See ya next Thursday ;p
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