I’ve decided. It’s insane to be a writer. Really. It takes over your life.
It keeps me from making my bed and getting the dishes done. I plan my life around critique groups and writers conferences. I check my email more often than I wash my hands. It’s crazy.
It changes the way I read. I can’t just enjoy a book. I analyze it. What was the author thinking when he wrote this? What makes this dialogue work? What clues did the author plant to help me solve the mystery, or throw me off the track. Why does this setting feel familiar? It’s nuts.
I’ll let you in a secret. The real reason I write is…. (drumroll, please) I write for the money. NOT. I hope you got a good laugh out of that one. After careful (not) calculations, I have discovered that I make about ten cents an hour. Or is it five cents an hour? It’s bizarre.
Why the heck do I write,then? Just because I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else. It's Unbelievable.
I am crazy. Crazy about words, crazy about writing, crazy about books. Crazy.
Don't you agree? Only a crazy person would write.
Linda Garner
Showing posts with label dialogue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dialogue. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The Pillar of Society
The pillar of society. I think it was my mother-in-law that used that term about someone she knew, someone who took a lot of pills. As I grow older, I find myself taking more pills too. Don't worry. All natural stuff. All doctor recommended.
Did you know that magnesium is nature’s tranquilizer, or that arganine prevents stroke? Did you know that niacin strengthens blood vessel walls, or that fish oil fights depression? Did you know that cinnamon helps regulate blood sugar or that carnitine prevents aging. The list goes on and on. Did you know that practically no one in North America gets enough vitamin D from the sun, at least not this far north in North America?
Today as I counted out my pills, I realized that I have arrived. I have become the pillar of society. I guess there are worse things I could be. It seems that there is a pill for everything, at least everything medical. I would like to formulate my own kind of pill to remedy the other ills of my life.
I would like a pill that would help me be kind when I feel irritable, a pill that would motivate me when I am tired, a pill that would help me see a bigger picture, a pill that would make me less selfish and less greedy. How about a pill that would help me balance my budget, stick to my diet, control my temper. Do you see the possibilities?
Always looking for shortcuts, I wonder if we could manufacture a line of writer’s pills. If your manuscript is ailing, we could prescribe the appropriate pill. We could have one for plot problems, another for character development, definitely one for voice, and another for dialogue. With the proper dosage of the appropriate pill, you would know exactly how to nurse your manuscript back to health. Readers would be happy, writers would be ecstatic, and we would be rich.
The "we" I mentioned, is you and I, my faithful readers, because I would let you in on my secret and we could work together and share the profits. We could call our pharmacy Write-Aid, and together we could be the pillars of society.
And if not…there’s always hard work.
Linda Garner
Did you know that magnesium is nature’s tranquilizer, or that arganine prevents stroke? Did you know that niacin strengthens blood vessel walls, or that fish oil fights depression? Did you know that cinnamon helps regulate blood sugar or that carnitine prevents aging. The list goes on and on. Did you know that practically no one in North America gets enough vitamin D from the sun, at least not this far north in North America?
Today as I counted out my pills, I realized that I have arrived. I have become the pillar of society. I guess there are worse things I could be. It seems that there is a pill for everything, at least everything medical. I would like to formulate my own kind of pill to remedy the other ills of my life.
I would like a pill that would help me be kind when I feel irritable, a pill that would motivate me when I am tired, a pill that would help me see a bigger picture, a pill that would make me less selfish and less greedy. How about a pill that would help me balance my budget, stick to my diet, control my temper. Do you see the possibilities?
Always looking for shortcuts, I wonder if we could manufacture a line of writer’s pills. If your manuscript is ailing, we could prescribe the appropriate pill. We could have one for plot problems, another for character development, definitely one for voice, and another for dialogue. With the proper dosage of the appropriate pill, you would know exactly how to nurse your manuscript back to health. Readers would be happy, writers would be ecstatic, and we would be rich.
The "we" I mentioned, is you and I, my faithful readers, because I would let you in on my secret and we could work together and share the profits. We could call our pharmacy Write-Aid, and together we could be the pillars of society.
And if not…there’s always hard work.
Linda Garner
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Revising: Yuck! ...or maybe not.
Revising. Yuck! Everyone hates it, right?
Wrong. I have discovered, to my great surprise, that I love revising. It is so fun to take something ho-hum and make it better. A snip here, a tuck there. I love tightening things up. Getting rid of everything that doesn’t add to the story. More detail here, and more emotion there. The story is really taking shape. I love taking the bare bones and adding flesh. But let's not stop there. What about clothes?You don't want your story running around naked, do you?
Clothing your story, that can be lots of fun. Add colors and patterns to the mix. Description adds color. Dialogue adds depth and patterns. Details are the buttons and trim. I love how a special touch can make the story live and breathe.
My critique group gives me awesome feedback. With their help I can flesh the story out and make it more interesting and more real. I’ve heard lots of back talk about revising. I think I love it.
There was a time when my critique group was shy about giving feedback. We didn’t know each other all that well, and we weren’t sure where our boundaries lay. My new friends were too kind to tell me what they really thought, and so they tippy toed around the truth a little. We had been meeting together for more than a year when I realized they were not always honest with me. They were afraid of hurting my feelings.
I belong to a critique group for solid feedback. Honest feedback. Now I ask them to tell it like it is, and I love it. I would rather hear the truth from them than from a reader or an editor. And frankly, no editor is going to take that kind of time. And no reader is going to read far enough, if the book isn’t good.
Once I get the goods from my critique group, I can hardly wait to get to my computer and fix things that aren’t working. Of course they don’t have to be mean about it, and they aren’t. I value their opinions and I value their honesty. It goes without saying that I value their friendship.
Revising or refining? It’s all up to you.
Linda Garner
Wrong. I have discovered, to my great surprise, that I love revising. It is so fun to take something ho-hum and make it better. A snip here, a tuck there. I love tightening things up. Getting rid of everything that doesn’t add to the story. More detail here, and more emotion there. The story is really taking shape. I love taking the bare bones and adding flesh. But let's not stop there. What about clothes?You don't want your story running around naked, do you?
Clothing your story, that can be lots of fun. Add colors and patterns to the mix. Description adds color. Dialogue adds depth and patterns. Details are the buttons and trim. I love how a special touch can make the story live and breathe.
My critique group gives me awesome feedback. With their help I can flesh the story out and make it more interesting and more real. I’ve heard lots of back talk about revising. I think I love it.
There was a time when my critique group was shy about giving feedback. We didn’t know each other all that well, and we weren’t sure where our boundaries lay. My new friends were too kind to tell me what they really thought, and so they tippy toed around the truth a little. We had been meeting together for more than a year when I realized they were not always honest with me. They were afraid of hurting my feelings.
I belong to a critique group for solid feedback. Honest feedback. Now I ask them to tell it like it is, and I love it. I would rather hear the truth from them than from a reader or an editor. And frankly, no editor is going to take that kind of time. And no reader is going to read far enough, if the book isn’t good.
Once I get the goods from my critique group, I can hardly wait to get to my computer and fix things that aren’t working. Of course they don’t have to be mean about it, and they aren’t. I value their opinions and I value their honesty. It goes without saying that I value their friendship.
Revising or refining? It’s all up to you.
Linda Garner
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Spray, Tug, Smooth, Hang to Dry
How do you feel about ironing? I am not a big fan of ironing, so I got a little excited when I saw something new in the detergent aisle at the grocery store. Well, it was new to me, but it may be old to you. I think it was called a wrinkle releaser. You spray it on your clothes (Hmmm, is that wet clothes, or dry clothes?) then you tug and smooth and let the article hang dry. Sounds great, doesn’t it. I was almost salivating, but then I wondered…Does it really work?
I’ve spent a lot of money over the years on stuff that was supposed to be fabulous, and really wasn’t, so I was a teeny bit suspicious about investing my $3.59 on an unproven product. Has anyone ever used this stuff? Does it work?
My second thought was, if it works…is it only for clothes? Is there a chance it could work on skin? Could I spray some on my face, then tug, smooth, and air dry. What a fun thought. No more crow’s feet. Smile lines begone. It’s a great idea, don’t you think.
And why stop there? I could use a little help ironing out the wrinkles in my life, couldn’t you? Family problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang to dry. Personal problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang-dry. Kids giving you grief? Spray, tug, smooth, hang…dry. Tempting isn’t it.
And what about that writing glitch? The plot that won’t plot? The dialogue that’s stuck? The never ending story? A wrinkle in time? You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been there. How’d you like some magic spray? Quick run to the grocery store and grab a bottle. Spray, tug, smooth, and hang to dry.
Linda Garner
P.S.
Scroll down to see me having breakfast with Erika Hansen. Erika Hansen is the former Miss Iron County. She entered the pageant on a platform of preventing sexual abuse. She is awesome. Read about her tomorrow, on my website blog at www.somesecretshurt.com.
I’ve spent a lot of money over the years on stuff that was supposed to be fabulous, and really wasn’t, so I was a teeny bit suspicious about investing my $3.59 on an unproven product. Has anyone ever used this stuff? Does it work?
My second thought was, if it works…is it only for clothes? Is there a chance it could work on skin? Could I spray some on my face, then tug, smooth, and air dry. What a fun thought. No more crow’s feet. Smile lines begone. It’s a great idea, don’t you think.
And why stop there? I could use a little help ironing out the wrinkles in my life, couldn’t you? Family problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang to dry. Personal problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang-dry. Kids giving you grief? Spray, tug, smooth, hang…dry. Tempting isn’t it.
And what about that writing glitch? The plot that won’t plot? The dialogue that’s stuck? The never ending story? A wrinkle in time? You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been there. How’d you like some magic spray? Quick run to the grocery store and grab a bottle. Spray, tug, smooth, and hang to dry.
Linda Garner
P.S.
Scroll down to see me having breakfast with Erika Hansen. Erika Hansen is the former Miss Iron County. She entered the pageant on a platform of preventing sexual abuse. She is awesome. Read about her tomorrow, on my website blog at www.somesecretshurt.com.
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