Goals

We traditionally set goals this time of year. Sometimes I rebel against doing it, but I know that what I think about and plan, I become. All of us participate in goal setting whether on a conscious or subconscious level. 

We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think. Buddha 

Even if I never set goals, I still invite things into my life by my thoughts.  So I do set goals and have a plan because I don't want my life to be run by default.

One of the things I struggle with is consistency. I can start out with really good intentions and then forget about them after a few weeks. All it takes is for me to have to get a lesson or meeting ready and before I know it, I've thrown my whole energy into that project and forgotten all about my other goals. Summer is also a very bad time for me to be consistent. With kids and family, everything goes out the window for a few months.

So one thing I know about myself is that I won't be consistent all the time, and I now I set a time of reestablishing my goals once a month just to check to see if I got off the track. I ALWAYS have to recommit myself in September after everyone is back in school. 

Be flexible in goal setting. Be willing to change your goals over time. (You may not have to be, but I do.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity. Lois Pasteur

            So here’s to flexibility, change and tenacity in your goal-setting!

            Share your ideas with me. I’d love suggestions as to what works for you.

Goal Setting

Each January I like to set goals for the weeks, months and year. Writing goals are tricky for me because my aspiration is to be published by the end of the year. But there are many aspects to being in print that are not under my control, so I have to establish my objectives differently.

For instance, I can set goals to attend writing workshops of my choice, read and study books on writing, attend critique groups and pen so many pages a week. But I can’t plan that illusive “being published” goal. Hopefully the goals I set will lead to that end.

What about you? What are your writing goals? I’d love your ideas and feedback.

I find sharing my ambitions with those around me helps keep me on task. It makes my commitment greater. I also like feedback from others. It helps me stay focused.

Here are some quotes I like to read often.

 “Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals.” Aristotle

We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think. Buddha

(I think a lot about writing.)

Goals that are not written down are just wishes. Unknown

 People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. Earl Nightengale

How have you set goals in the past? What do you like about the way you set them?  What would you like to change? Share with us.

Christy Monson         

Selected Neglect

Do you ever feel that there aren’t enough hours in the day? I do. Practically every day, as a matter of fact. Some days I really feel time challenged, and other days my energy gives out first.

Years ago, as a time challenged young mother, I first heard about selected neglect. A mother of many children was asked just how she managed. She said, “Simple. I operate on a system of selected neglect.” I found that idea exactly suited my needs and it helped me get through the maze of raising children. Now the children are gone, (well mostly), but I am still time challenged.

I started 2010 with an agenda of dejunking and organizing. I selectively neglected almost everything else. Next I decided to put a little more thought and planning into my piano practicing and teaching. Dejunking and organizing went to the back burner. My writing hasn’t been on the hit parade for a few days, and so today, I was on my computer at 5:00 a.m. doing a little catch up. Because of selected neglect, I was able to carve out some writing time.

I didn’t come up for air til about noon, and it was enough to start a new project, which I am excited about. It is difficult for me to write in snatches. I really prefer having big time slots to work with, but the reality is that seldom happens. So I am looking for suggestions on how to use those mini-moments to make strides in my writing. Tell me how you do it? What works for you?

And while I am admitting to being (gasp) time challenged, I would like to share with you my writing goals for January. That will help me be more accountable.

1. Submit two picture book manuscripts to a publisher. The manuscripts are finished, they just need submitting. The titles are Grudge Rock and A Jar of Love.

2. Finish my chapter book version of Way to Go Grace. It’s about half done. The picture book version of Way to Go Grace has been in the hands of a publisher for a very long time. I’m not worried about it. I figure the longer they hold on to it, the more seriously they are considering it.

3. Write a chapter a week on my new project. This is something special and new.

4. Schedule at least four Some Secrets Hurt presentations in elementary schools, for February.

I am on a roll with 1, 2, and 3. Number 4 has become a little sticky. First, my publishers told me they would arrange for my school visits. They ran into opposition and dropped the ball. They invited me to pick it up. I, too, am experiencing a few roadblocks. Principals are reluctant to open this can of worms. They know the statistics and understand that kids are at risk, but I think they are afraid of the fall-out.

I’m not giving up easily. This is such important work. There is nothing threatening about Some Secrets Hurt, and there is nothing threatening about my presentation. I feel that we owe our kids the opportunity to say no, the opportunity to tell, and the opportunity to grow up in a safe environment. Education is the key.

If you agree with me, how about calling your child’s principal, and suggesting a presentation for your school? My presentation is great for kids of all ages. I love doing presentations for parents and women’s groups as well.

I have been invited twice to share my presentation with High School Students, who have loved it. Would you have guessed that high school students would be interested in a picture book? What do they know that we don’t know?

What are your goals for January? What do you do when you’re in a time crunch? And (drum roll please) the question everyone wants to know: Do you operate on a system of selected neglect?

Linda Garner

P.S.

If you haven’t heard, Some Secrets Hurts was written to prevent sexual abuse, by empowering children and teenagers to take control of their own bodies. Feel free to visit my website, www.somesecretshurt.com.

Beginnings

I love beginnings. I love the start of a new month, a new day, a new year. I love goals. I love to try new things. I love to change things up.

I have some personal goals for the new year. Some involve health. Some involve simplifying, organizing, dejunking…that kind of thing. Others involve time and prioritizing. Prioritizing? It has a magical sound to it. Very business-like and powerful, but…

Prioritizing has always been a struggle for me. I love to do too many things. I want to do everything. As a young mother, I thought that prioritizing was a way to do more. If I just prioritized,I thought, I could fit everything in. It never worked, and I never knew why. That was a little insane.

Writing is a high priority for me. I have some specific writing goals for the new year, such as finding a home for three picture book manuscripts, and forging ahead on my first chapter book.

Our critique group is doing a remodel, too. Lately, we drifted into a comfortable stupor, where we did lots of visiting, but not much critiquing. We weren’t making much progress and thankfully we decided to do something about it. More structure was needed, and a few ground rules.

Change is good. I’m glad that we care enough about each other to hang in there, and I’m glad that we care enough about our writing to try new things. It’s just coincidence that we are making a new start at the start of a new year, but then again…

I love beginnings.

Linda Garner

Heart Song

This year for Christmas I gave my children a very personal gift, a gift of self. I gave to them a small piece of the fabric of my life. I gave them the beginnings of my personal history.

A personal history is never really finished until you die, so it’s always a work in progress. It can be a daunting task to compose your life’s story and put it on paper. The children have been asking for a couple of years. I didn’t have time. I didn’t know how to begin. I wasn’t ready. My life isn’t interesting. Sound familiar?

In February, when friend-husband and I were on the road home from Arkansas with our son’s family, I found the perfect time. I am an early riser. There isn’t much to do in a crowded hotel room, especially when you don’t want to disturb sleeping people. I found that I could hang out in the bathroom with the light on, the door closed and the lap top on my lap. We were on the road for ten days and soon I had woven a small piece of the fabric of my life.

After we were home, I didn’t work on my history with much consistency, but over time I did flesh it out a bit. I added a detail here, an experience there, here a tweak, there a tweak, everywhere a….

Much of my life is ordinary, but some of it is unique, and all of it is mine. I found satisfaction in sorting through the details of my life and processing my thoughts and feelings. I decided to share some of those thoughts and feelings with my family and I wove them into my story. I wanted to give my children more than a time line with facts and figures. I wanted them to know my heart.

My history is not really chronological, though there is a chronological thread running through it. I began with a growing experience from my high school days. My birth is recorded not first or even second. I wanted my history to be interesting reading, and my birth is not the most interesting part of my life. I included some thoughts about my parents and grandparents; not just the facts, but snapshots of their personalities. I mentioned things I learned from them.

There is a bit of a balancing act going on when you write your history. Should you tell all...or only the good. I didn't want to whitewash my history. Every family has unsavory stories. Mine is no exception. I wanted to include some of those not so nice details, not to hurt anyone, but to honor the truth and to bring clarity into our lives. We can all learn from experience, if we are not afraid of the truth. I told the truth, but with kindness, and without blame.

Since my history is a work in process, I decided not to bind it. Instead I had the copies punched and placed them in binders, so that I can add to it. I considered leaving the pages unnumbered, so that pages could be added throughout the history and not just at the end. After waffling a bit, I decided that page numbers were necessary for organization. What if the pages were spilled somehow?

Though I wrote my history as a gift for my children, the magic part is that it became a gift to myself. I found gratitude as I considered the gifts in my life. I found clarity as I considered patterns in my life’s path. I found healing as I considered the challenges I have encountered. I found direction as I considered my goals and dreams. I entitled my history Heart Song, and prefaced it with this poem.

Heart Song
by Linda Kay Garner

I’ll share with you my favorite song; a song of love and laughter.
I’ll sing to you of dreams come true; and happy ever after.
I’ll share a song of sadness, of sunshine mixed with rain.
I’ll sing to you of gladness; I’ll share a song of pain.
I’ll share a joyous melody of every warm sweet memory.
Let’s you and I share harmony of home and friends and family.

I’ll share a song of miracles. I’ll sing a song of change.
This is the music of my life. This is my own refrain.
I’ll share with you my secret thoughts, my hope and my desire.
I’ll dance to memory’s music, as you snuggle by the fire.
And as you turn the pages, perhaps you’ll sing along.
This is the music of my heart; This is my heart’s own song.


Friend-husband’s mother died this year without recording her Heart Song. We long for a small piece of the fabric of her life.

Maybe this could be your year. Maybe you could begin now to record your story, your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams. Maybe you could give the gift of self. Is it time to listen to your heart and make some music of your own? It could be fun. Are you ready to sing your own Heart Song?

Linda Garner