Not About Elephants

Bobby: "Psssst. Don't tell anyone. It's our secret! There's an elephant in the living room, but we're pretending it's not really there and it's not really an elephant."

Billy: "But it smells and it's enormous!"

Bobby: "Just ignore it. Maybe it will go away."

Sounds pretty silly, doesn't it? Ignoring an elephant in the living room. How could anyone ignore an elephant in the living room?

Just think for a minute what it would be like. An elephant would take up most of the room. It would be difficult to watch TV, look out the windows, or see each other. Carrying on a conversation with an elephant in the living room would be tricky. And think what an elephant could do to the carpet.

How can you think of much else except how to clean up the mess the elephant makes? What do you do when company comes...put a doily on it? How can you even talk on the phone when there's an elephant trumpeting in the living room? And how do you convince the children, your friends, your family, and yourself there's not an elephant there?

Okay, so no sane person would keep an elephant in their living room.

The dialog about the elephant in the living room was written about alcoholism, but alcoholism isn't the only elephant, is it? An elephant in the living room is any problem that we don't want to talk about. It's the thing that we pretend isn't real, that we hide in corners and we sweep under the rug.

I chose to write a book about an elephant. My elephant is called sexual abuse.

This is the way I began my keynote address to the students who attended Wending Words, Journeying Toward Meaning. It was a great attention getter, and it set the stage for my topic, writing about a sensitive subject. I was able to share with the students my journey to publishing Some Secrets Hurt and why I write about sensitive subjects. I write to make a difference.

I shared with the kids my TV interview, we read my book together, and we talked about the statistics. As you may know, current stats indicate that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before the age of eighteen. This is shocking for most people to hear, but the kids never batted an eye. What do they know that we don't know?

We talked about what those numbers might represent in their individual high schools. Given the stats, everyone knows someone who has been sexually abused. One third of those who have been abused will never tell anyone. I asked the students what they could do to help someone who has been abused, especially if they don't know for sure. I suggested that we all could be a little kinder to everyone we meet, especially the ones who don't seem to fit in. What if the reason they don't fit in is because they are carrying a secret; a secret shame, a secret hurt, a secret that has shattered their self-esteem? Some Secrets Hurt.

I talked about some of my favorite illustrations in the book, and showed them how Brandilyn brought Maggie to life. I told the students how Brandilyn and I met and shared our passion for making a difference. I highlighted some of the important ideas presented in the book: Sexual abuse is never the victim's fault. Teenagers as well as children are targets for sexual abuse. Abusers are rarely strangers. Whether you are a child or a teenager, you need help to stop the abuse. The only way to get help is to tell an adult that you trust. If the adult you tell does not believe you, or does not help you, talk to someone else. Keep telling until you find someone who helps you. You can heal if you get help. It's really hard on your own.

I told the young writers that point of view is a writer's secret weapon. Point of view is what allows us to get into a character's head and understand what he or she is feeling and thinking. Maggie is what makes Some Secrets Hurt real. She softens a difficult message. We identify with her. We cheer for her. We want her to tell. We want her to get help. We hope her parents will believe her. Maggie is my hero.

If you want to write about an elephant, it is important that you

1. Believe in your elephant. How big is your passion? Is your passion as big as your elephant?
2. Know your facts. This helps you to tell the truth and be convincing.
3. Create a believable character and allow them to tell your story. You can talk about anything, if you do it in a character's voice. Get inside your character's head.

When I wrote Some Secrets Hurt, I wanted to give children and teenagers a voice. I wanted to give parents a tool. I wanted a book that was simple enough for young children, yet meaningful enough for teenagers. I wanted to write a book that was informative enough for parents and teachers, yet powerful enough to promote healing for victims of all ages. How could I write a book that would cross age boundaries, gender boundaries, cultural and religious boundaries?

This would have been a difficult task if I had tried to do it alone, but I had help. I had help from a little girl named Maggie.

Linda Garner

P.S.

If you would like to read about my closing address, Making a Difference, visit http://www.somesecretshurt.com/ tomorrow.

The Exciting Adventures of WIFYR or Writers, Editors, Agents and Armpit Butter

Where do I start about last weeks adventures?

Last week was the BYU WIFYR and it was amazing!!!! I meet a bunch of wonderful new friends, scared off a couple of published authors (never hug someone when they aren’t expecting it…but it does make for a fun story), and I decided this is what I really want to do.

Monday through Friday, my critiquing buds and I headed to BYU early each morning (after a delightful breakfast of Mcy-D’s). From 8:30 until 12:30, we sat in separate groups learning from the best authors around.

I got to work with Janette Rallison, author of My Fair Godmother, Just One Wish, and many others (my daughter is in the middle of Just One Wish and has informed me how wickedly awesome it is…every morning, noon, and night. Yes, my friends, it is that good). She is so funny (Both Janette and my daughter). =)

We had a great group of gals (I mean… we were chic lit. Not many guys wanted to venture into our class room, especially since we were laughing so dang hard every ten minutes). They (our group) were a hoot. And the talent in that class was incredible! It was an honor to read their work and have them critique mine. I’m sure one day I will see them published and be able to say, “Yes, I was in a five-day critique group with so and so. We are like this.” * fingers crossed* And they will say, “I don’t think we are as good of friends as you think we are.” (Erin, that one’s for you!) Ah, good times, good times.

From 1:30 – 2 we got to mingle with any agent, editor, or author that was scheduled for the mingle sessions.

Then came the break-out classes ranging from plotting to finding time to write. I learned something from each class I attended. I loved the class taught by Louise Plummer about anxiety. Because…well… I have it. I learned a lot in that class. Oh and that fantastic class by Sharlee Glenn about being a writer anyway. Loved it!

I think the best part about the conference is that people enjoyed what I had written. Plus, I accomplished the goals I made for myself a year ago. Whoo hoo!

Was the traveling, money, and lack of sleep worth it all? All I can say is, if you haven't had a chance to come to this conference, start saving your pennies. It is well worth it!

I Had a Dandi Time

It was a Dandi Conference!

I spent last week at BYU Writers Conference and had a dandi time. It was a dandi time because my teacher was Dandi Mackall, an amazing author who has published over 400 books. I have forgotten the exact count but I think it is around 470. Eighteen of those books were published last year.

It was an incredible opportunity to spend a week with Dandi. She was warm and witty and delightful. What a treat it was to sit around the table with her and sample her ideas and her wisdom. I brought home new friends and a new bag of tricks. I don’t suppose Dandi will remember me, but I will never forget her. I will remember many things about her, but I will especially remember her as a woman of substance.

Here are a few things that I learned from the conference.

1. Know your character. Use this exercise: ___________ is the kind of person who_______________________.

2. Get inside the character’s head. This is our biggest advantage over TV or movies. We get to be inside the character’s head. Make the most of it.

3. Give your character a problem, then make it bigger. Don’t let the solution come too easily. A classic story pattern is to have the problem grow in 3 stages.

4. The climax is the low point.

5. Make sure your character gets to solve his/her own problem. Don't let anyone else do it.

The hands on part of the workshop was eye popping, though it was humbling to hear about the flaws in my own carefully crafted work. Getting past that is important, if you want a great finished product. It’s easy to get discouraged when you find out that your work isn’t as good as you thought it was, but it’s better to be pick up your pencil and try again. It’s actually empowering to know what isn’t working and to have an idea about how to fix it.

I want to say thanks to the awesome writers in my picture book class. They have great ideas and skills and their feedback is so helpful. Writers are a great slice of the human pie. They are creative and caring and they understand synergy. I appreciate the chance to learn from them.

And to Dandi I say: You are incredible. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with me. I hope we meet again.

Linda Garner

Words Words Words

I'm playing hookie today. My friends and I have gone off to a writer's conference at BYU. We're having a wonderful time, and learning all about our favorite thing....words.

Words, Words, Words.
Words are dancing in my head.
They’re whirling and twirling in my head.
Enchanting words like mystical, and fanciful, and whimsical,
They’re tippy-toeing in my mind, for I’ve a tale to tell.
I’d like to tell of fairy wings and dragon tails and handsome kings.
I’d like to speak of magic things
And catch you in my spell.


Words, Words, Words.
Words are creeping through my head.
They’re squirming and worming inside my head.
Hysterical words like quivering, blood-curdling, spine-tingling,
They’re shivering inside my mind, for I’ve a tale to tell.
I’d like to tell of eerie sights, and spooky nights, and flickering lights.
I’d like to speak of dreadful frights
And catch you in my spell.


Words, Words, Words.
Words are swimming in my head,
Like little fishies in my head.
Pirate-ish words like walk the plank, and thar she blows, and ships what sank.
They’re walking the gang-plank in my mind, for I’ve a tale to tell.
I’d like to tell of pirate ships, of treasure maps, and mermaid lips,
And hooks instead of fingertips,
To catch you in my spell.


Words, words, Words,
Words are marching in my head.
They’re on a stage inside my head.
Dramatic words like mesmerize, and hypnotize, and tantalize.
They’re acting out inside my mind, for I’ve a tale to tell.
I’d like to tell of mystery, of tragedy, of comedy.
I’d like to speak theatrically,
And catch you in my spell.


Linda Garner