Friday, October 24, 2014

Solution Focused Discussion




There have been times I've been guilty of blaming and lecturing my kids. If we are truthful, we've probably all been down this road. Is there a better way to handle the situation?

The answer is yes. For me, I have to take a little time out and calm myself down before I take care of the problem. While I'm 'timing myself out,' I remember to ask myself the following question:

What do I want my child to learn from this?

*An angry lecture tells the child he is at fault and worthless.
*A calm lecture tell the child he is at fault and the adult is in charge.
*Doling out the consequences tells the child he is at fault and the adult is in charge.
*A discussion tells the child he is of value and can get away with whatever he wants.
*A solution-focused discussion tells the child he is of value. He can solve problems and direct his own life.


Read more about this subject in Family Talk, by Christy Monson

Friday, October 17, 2014

Discuss things with your kids

Take a few minutes each day to talk with your children.

1. Ask them about their day.
2. Listen to what they have to say.
3. Be interested - like you would with a friend.


As you make a conscious effort to do this daily, you will see your relationship with your children growing stronger.

Take time to discuss family problems with your kids.
1. Share the problem
2. Ask for solutions
3. Listen to their suggestions.
4. Try out some of their ideas.


You'll be surprised what great kids you have! That goes without saying because they belong to you!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Confidence is Catching!

Click on image to enlarge.

Don’t you love to be around someone who is confident?  A confident person puts others at ease.  A confident person doesn’t sweat the small stuff.  A confident person is comfortable to be around.

A confident woman doesn't put others down.  She doesn't need to.  She isn't focused on herself.  She isn't conceited or snobby.  She feels good about herself, and she is fun to be with.

A confident woman accepts herself as she is.  She isn’t perfect and she knows it, but she is comfortable with herself.   A confident woman is beautiful, no matter what her size or shape is.  She is not afraid to be herself, and she gives you permission to be yourself.

Give the gift of confidence.  Get comfortable with who you are.  Accept your faults, your flaws, your beauty, your strengths, your weaknesses.

If you have daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters, teach them to be confident.  Show them how to be confident.   They want to be like you.

Come to the American Fork Library this Saturday from 3:30 to 5:30 and celebrate confidence, self-worth, and healthy body image with us.  Bring your daughters, your sisters, your nieces.  Bring your granddaughters—your  friends. 
  
Door prizes, live music, refreshments, and meet the authors and illustrators of from Head to Tummy and Some Secrets Hurt. Get your books signed.

It's never too early to help your child build a healthy body image.  Don’t miss it.

Confidence is Catching.  Pass it on.

Linda Garner


Monday, October 13, 2014

What are you Modeling?

Lately I've heard of younger and younger girls stressing out about their looks, their clothes, or the shape of their body.  Eating disorders are claiming younger victims.  Girls are learning to hate their bodies at an age when they barely know who they are.  How did this happen? 

It’s easy to blame the media, and there is good reason for that, but I am wondering if we might be missing something.  Here’s my question:  What are you modeling?

Do you cringe when you look in the mirror or step on the scales?  Do you ever say unkind things about yourself?  Do you have a hard time accepting a compliment?

Well, do you? 

Look around, and see the faces that are taking their clues from you.  Children are our mirrors. 

Can you help your daughters, sisters, friends, nieces to be comfortable in their skin, by showing them that your are comfortable in yours?

What are you modeling?  Guess who's watching?


Linda Garner

Friday, October 10, 2014

Being Positive about Misbehavior

Our young grandchildren and their parents have been living at our house for the past year. It's been fun to have them there, and great to have the extra time with them.

Sometimes the children get caught up in activities and don't think of the consequences.

One afternoon they picked up walnuts and began to throw them at the white cinder block wall. They laughed and had a lot of fun. Soon the wall was covered with black splats.

I talked to the kids about how the wall looked. They agreed that it didn't look good. I got out the bucket of paint, and they covered the wall.


The splats were still there. That paint didn't work. Off to the hardware store to get some better paint.

This time the paint covered. The girls had fun painting. I don't think they'll use the wall for target practice again.

There was no need for shaming or criticism. The girls learned the lesson they needed to learn and corrected their mistakes, so all was well.

No Negativity necessary.

In fact, the child's self esteem is enhanced in a situation like this because they were able to solve their problem in a positive way.

Build you child's self esteem. Be positive and solution focused with them.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Build Your Child's Self Esteem



What's Your Self-Esteem Booster for your child?

Take a little time each day to watch the way you talk to your kids. 

*What do you say to them when they share a problem?
*How do you react when they tell you things?
*Look at the ways they are trying to solve their problems.
*Can you see the way they view the world? Take a peek at the world from their eyes.

Statements such as:
*That was a very thoughtful way to handle that.
*Looks like you really spent some time thinking about that.
*What a great job you've done!
*How do you feel about your hard work?
help a child look at their own process and feel encouraged about their actions.


Do take time to acknowledge your child's strengths. They are you for such a short time.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

You Don't Have to Try So Hard

When we did we decide that we had to measure up to some unwritten standards?  Who told us?

As girls and women we have a lot to live up to.  Are we good enough?  Are we beautiful enough? Are we thin enough? Do we wear the right clothes?  The right makeup?

Will they like us?

Why all the shoulds? Isn't it time we give each other permission to be ourselves?

Click here for a different message.  Go ahead click it. You'll be glad you did.  Then pass it on.

After you watch this beautiful video mark you calendar for Oct 18.  Bring your daughters, your sisters, your friends to the American Fork Library and celebrate self worth with us.

Linda Garner


.