Critique Groups

I have learned a lot about writing from taking classes and going to conferences, but the place I've learned the most is in my critique group. If you're thinking about creating one or changing the one you have, here are some questions to think about.

 1. Critique group sizes: what's ideal...pros and cons of larger/smaller groups
2. How often should a group meet?

 3.  How does the written critique differ from what's brought up in the meeting

 4.  Should pages be read in advance or read aloud at the meeting? What we do and why we've decided to do it this way
5.  How many pages? This is a function of how often a group meets, oftentimes. Some do a chapter. But groups should also consider how much time there is in an evening to go over things. 

6.  How to balance the need to get through a lot of material with the fun we have together
7.  Supplemental activities like retreats and hanging out together at writing conferences
8.  Support, both in writing and in life's troubles/good stuff
9.  Adding new members...how do you vet them? How do you tell if someone will click with the group?
10.  Critique group members...is it important to have similar goals (like striving for publication vs. writing for fun) or similar genres or commitment levels or ?
11.  Groups can include other activities besides critique. Some groups may choose to have a short lesson or writing activity before starting the critique part
12.  Food--pros and cons
13.  Talk about the skill of giving a helpful, not hurtful critique...balancing positive and negative, etc.
14.  Talk about the skill of distilling what you want to say about someone's piece into a concise comment that all can benefit from, not just the writer of that piece

Characterization

I have just been listening to Lucy Maude Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables books on CD.
Why do we like them so much? Why were the videos so popular? When you read the books, the descriptions are way too wordy. She jumps fro person to person and doesn't keep a single perspective. Sometimes the author doesn't have the main character solve the problem. Someone else swoops in to save the day. The plots of each book are rather rambling. So what is there about those books that we love?

I think it's Montgomery's ability to create memorable, believable characters. We fall in love with each one of them--even if they're not major. She has a talent and gift for doing this. Reread the books and see what you think. Here are a few things she does to enhance her people.

1. She gives them a singular figure of speech that they repeat.
2. She has some people that are very talkative, and others that are shy.
3. She gives them particular thoughts, unique to themselves.
4. She makes them down to earth. They are not perfect. Everyone of them has flaws.
5. She is descriptive of their person and clothing.
6. Some of them have particular actions peculiar just to them.

Read the books for yourself and see what you think.

Happy reading, Christy

Nothing Can Change That

I am rejoicing with the families of the three women who were rescued from sexual slavery this week.  What an amazing story.  What incredible relief for them and for their families.  I can't imagine how they survived and I pray for their recovery. Let the healing begin.  I suspect it will be a long road.

On the heels of this story came word from Elizabeth Smart that challenged my thinking.  Elizabeth spoke out against teaching abstinence.  Elizabeth was raised in a religious household and recalled a teacher who once spoke about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.

Of her horrific experience she said, "I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.'

And that's how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value," she continued.

Commenting on why she didn't try harder to escape, and why the three women in captivity didn't try harder to excape she said, "Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."

Oh, sweet Elizabeth, nothing could be farther from the truth.  I know we actually agree on that, because she went on to say, "Children should be educated that you will always have value and nothing can change that."

I really respect Elizabeth Smart. I think I understand what she is trying to say.  I would like to add that teaching abstinence is not the problem. Abstinence is still the best choice. There are, however, flawed teaching methods that send incorrect messages. The "already chewed gum" for example.

Those who have been raped may have lost their innocence, but they have not lost their purity. Purity cannot be stolen. It can only be lost through choice.

Those who have been raped may feel worthless, but in truth, they have incredible worth because their worth is eternal. A person's worth does not change because of what they experience, or even what they choose.

We cannot increase or decrease our worth by anything we do, or anything we experience. Our value is immeasurable because of who we are. Our value was created before we were born. We are sons and daughters of God. That value can not be taken from us.

Linda Garner

I Love to Write and Hate it too.

I found this quote on twitter the other day and had to retweet it because it's just how I feel.

Bill Cronin said, "I love to write and hate it too. When I am writing, I absolutely love it. It's when I can't that I hate it."

First thing in the morning I adore sitting down to write. My whole day goes better if I get a few hours to myself to write the thoughts of my heart--or even edit yesterday's work.

It's when I have so much of daily life pressing in on my that there isn't time to write that I hate it. I've just come back from seeing my kids. I had a wonderful trip and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But I can feel that irritation building inside me. The only way to eradicate it is to write.

So this morning after I get breakfast and laundry started, I will sit down at my computer and write. Never mind that my roses need trimming and the garden hasn't been dug yet and I need to go shopping to get groceries. All that can wait until I write a while.

Writing is my solace, my best companion, and my love. It's a place I can share my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes people listen and sometimes they don't. But I've shared and that's all that matters.

Happy writing today. Have a great, happy, wonderful, peaceful day! Start it with writing.

Christy Monson

In the Quiet Heart is Hidden Sorrow that the Eye Can't See

Today is the last day of April:  Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.

It's not the last day to be aware and educated, but I won't be focusing on it in my posts.  I hope that you gave some thought to the children and teenagers in your care and resolved to make a difference.  I hope that you will share with them some empowering thoughts and tools.  Allow me to share one last story.

Orange Jell-o.  The girls were excited.  My friend had made it for her mutual class.  As she peeled back the foil, their delight turned quickly to dismay.  Something was wrong. 

“What’s that in the corner?” asked one of the girls.  “It looks like dog poop.” 

“It is dog poop,” said the teacher, “but don’t worry.  It’s just in this one corner.  We can cut around it.  Who wants a piece?”

“Ooh, gross.”  “Yuck.” “Disgusting.”  “Are you kidding?”  “I’m not touching it.”

It was an effective object lesson on the content of movies.  You get the idea. “It was a great movie all except that one part.”  We’ve all said it.  It’s not quite the same with Jell-O.

What if instead of a movie, the Jell-o represented a human life and the dog poop represented sexual abuse?   Just as the dog poop changes everything about the Jell-o, sexual abuse changes the texture and landscape of an individual life.  Cutting around the dog poop is not an option.  The Jell-o will never be the same.

 

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”  (Herbert Ward)

Sexual abuse is one of the most damaging experiences imaginable.  Whether it happens once or a hundred times, the damage is often deep and lasting.  Some children bury the secret and never tell or talk about it.  These are the ones I worry most about.  A child who doesn’t get help may have a very hard time healing.

"In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can’t see." (LDS hymns p. 220) Watch for damaged children.  Ask the questions.  Be there.  Be a safe person that kids can talk to.

We can't afford to look the other way.

Linda Garner

Shapes of Stories

Here's a post from Kurt Vonnegut, author of Slaughter House Five and Cat's Cradle. His Shapes of Stories is a great reference for us all to have.

http://i.imgur.com/o221kCT.png

Afraid to Tell

I was so thirsty.  We had been traveling for hours.  I was about 12, too old to complain.  It had been a while since our last pit stop, and I was bone dry.   I was relieved when Dad pulled into a gas station.  I jumped out of the car and ran for water.

We were traveling across the country, and I was small town girl.  I had rarely been out of Idaho.  On this trip, I saw new and different things every day.  At the gas station, I saw a large blue barrel with a spigot in the top.  Eureka, I thought.  Water.  I ran to the car for a cup and filled it.  I couldn’t wait to quench my thirst.

What a disaster.  One taste and I spit for all I was worth.  Yuck!  It was awful, and it wasn’t water.   I spit it out as fast as I could, and dumped the rest on the pavement.   I found water inside the little station and drank my fill.  I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth.  To make matters worse, I burped it all day.

I never knew what that nasty liquid was, and I didn’t tell anyone.  At first I was embarrassed.  Then I was worried.  What if it was poison?  Was I going to die? 

I lived with those scary thoughts for hours and then days.  Instead of being relieved when I didn’t die right away, I wondered if it was a slow acting poison.   Would it be a painful death?  Was there an antidote?  If I told, could my family get help for me, or was it already too late?

No, I couldn’t tell.  I might get in trouble.  They wouldn’t understand why I had drunk from the barrel.  They wouldn’t understand why I hadn’t told right away.  Would they be angry? 

I was more afraid of telling than I was of dying.

That was nearly 50 years ago.   I look back on that experience with soberness.  I could have died.   I am astonished that I didn’t ask for help from the people who loved me most and would have been devastated at my death.  Though it seems ridiculous from this perspective, I remember with clarity the fear I felt about telling.

When a child is sexually abused, they are confused and frightened.   Telling is the only way to get help.  Telling is the surest way to stop the abuse, yet most children are afraid to tell.  They wonder who to trust.  They wonder who will believe them.  Sometimes they are more afraid of telling than they are of the abuse.

To us, this is hard to understand.  We want to help.  We cannot help if we do not know.  Understanding the fear of telling can teach us how to help our kids.

1.        Be a safe person for your child to talk to.  Build a strong relationship.  Spend time with your child talking things over.  Be a good listener.  Don’t over react when your child tells you things that are sensitive.  Let your child know that you are willing to talk about anything.  If your child feels that some subjects are taboo, you will be the last person they will tell if they experience abuse.

2.       Teach your child that no one has the right to touch them in uncomfortable ways.  Teach with clarity so that they understand which parts of their body are private.  Have frank discussions with your teenagers.  Teenagers need someone to talk to about sexuality.  You do not want to leave this to chance.  Teach teenagers to respect their bodies and to stand up for themselves if they are being manipulated , bullied, or abused.  Teach children and teenagers to recognize situations where they need help.  Teach them to tell.

3.       Let your child see what healthy relationships look like.  It’s okay for them to see parents hug, kiss, and hold hands.  Show your children that you respect each other.  Show respect for your own body.  Respect your child.  Value his/her opinions, ideas, and feelings.

4.       Model problem solving and negotiation.  Create opportunities for your children to voice opinions and share decision making.  Give children responsibility and ownership in family work and family values.  Give them lots of practice in problem solving and making choices. 

5.       Consider role playing.  You can make up situations which will give your child a chance to problem solve in a safe setting.  A child who can think things through and come up with solutions is less likely to cave under pressure.  Problem solving skills empower children to take control of their own decisions, their own bodies, their own lives.

 

Linda Garner