Death of Innocence

Perhaps his life was never what we would call normal. Still, a short time ago Ethan Stacy was alive. Breathing, walking, thinking, sleeping, dreaming. Dreaming? What must his dreams have been like? Ethan died a slow painful death at the hands of those who were supposed to protect him and cherish him.

How did this happen? How could life go so terribly wrong? Did Ethan’s tortured mother reach out for help? Who did she have to turn to? Where could she have gone? Could we have reached out to her, to Ethan, had we known?

I feel certain that Ethan’s mother was in her own hell, beaten down by life, by struggle, by abuse, by a thousand poor choices; trapped in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong person. Judgement is easy. Understanding is difficult, perhaps beyond us. What must she have experienced? What must she have felt? How could she have stood by and watched her son die a little at a time?

With the death of Ethan, a part of us died, too. It was the death of our innocence. We can no longer look the other way. We can no longer pretend that child abuse happens somewhere else. We can no longer pretend that this is not our problem.

It is time to look for solutions. The raw emotions that surface when we think of Ethan, a boy we didn’t even know, speak to us of change. Can we be part of the change? Where do we begin? The questions are painful. The answers are complicated.

I don’t know the answers, but I know one thing. We are building A Healing Place in South Salt Lake. This will be a place of healing for anyone whose life has been touched by abuse. Now that Ethan is gone, is there anyone whose life has not been touched by abuse?

If you would like to help us build A Healing Place, you can make a donation at www.ahealingplacemonument.org. If you would like to volunteer to help you can email me at the same site.

Change. It’s never easy, but this is a good place to begin.

Linda Garner

Me, Myself and I

Get your butt on that chair and finish your revising. You’re on a deadline girl!

Yeah, I know. But there’s a beautiful sun out there. I could totally be doing something else. That doesn’t even include laundry.

No. You can’t. You have two weeks to finish revising and send that thing out!

Yeah, whatever. Do you think I should buy that rub on tan this year, because of my white-as-a-ghost tan?

Well, you are pretty pasty. Have you thought of that great spray…HEY! Wait a minute. You almost had me distracted! Now get to work. You will be so much happier when that ms is finished.

Yeah, you’re probably right.

And just think…then you can query.

Query? Aren’t those the cute little birds running around the neighborhood?

No, those are quails. *rolling eyes, arms folded* What…what are you doing?

I’m looking for a camera so I can take pictures of those quails.

You need to focus.

I am focusing. I’m focusing right now on that quail running down the street. I’m totally going to miss that photo op.

*foot tapping, scary grumpy look*

Okay, okay. I’m sitting down and working on revising. *sish*

Good.

Are you happy now?

Actually. Yeah, yeah I think I am.

I’ll be unplugging next week (starting Monday) so I can finish my revisions before my kids summer break. Have a good week everyone! And may the force be with you.

Change

As a rule, I thrive on change, but not everyone does. Change can be hard. Some changes are particularly difficult.

A friend of mine is losing her father. That's a painful experience, no matter what the circumstances. Having lost both of my parents, I feel her pain. For my friend, Tristi, I'd like to share a poem I wrote when friend-husband's mother was dying. I hope you enjoy it, too.

Change

A wind of change blew past today.
Dark clouds of change billowed my way.
It’s raining change all over town.
It’s turning my world up-side down.

Change is in the atmosphere.
It whispers in each sound I hear.
It’s over and under and all about.
It’s turning my world inside out.

Change is bouncing through the air.
It’s near and far and everywhere.
Change is tearing my world apart.
Maybe change will heal my heart.

There are many painful situations in our lives and in our world. Change can be devastating, but not all change is bad. Some change is needed. Change can be healing. We can be a catalyst for change. As I read the recent news about child abuse and a life that was lost, I want change.

If you want change, help us build A Healing Place. Educating our community and promoting healing is what A Healing Place is all about. You can make a difference. You can do it today. Read about A Healing Place on last week's post called Name That Park. (You can still enter.) You can find out more at www.ahealingplacemonument.org. Then be sure to tell your friends.

Too many children have died and too many children have been hurt. I want change, for the children. I want change to heal my heart.

Linda Garner

Will Someone Please Make that Squeaky Thing Stop!?!

I think I’m sick.

It started when I noticed I was grumpy. Not that I’m grumpy all the time, but when the pet mouse starts annoying me with his cute little squeaking and wiggly nose thing – I know there is something wrong.

That’s when the headache started and my eyes started to burn.

I’m just tired from being stressed out over nosey mouse running on his circley runner thingy in his cage.

But then my stomach turned.

It’s the chocolate. I need more of it.

So I ate it. Lots of it.

It didn’t help.

It just gave me a toothache (had a re-root canal last week – it’s still healing).

So I decided to take some pain killers to help with the headache/chocolate induced re-root canalled toothache.

Which helped a little, but caused my stomach to twist and turn even more.

So I drank some pop, because I heard it was supposed to calm the tummy.

I just made me burpy (which what kind of funny when I answered the phone with a belchy hello. Hee hee, sorry person who called. Hee hee.) Okay, that didn’t really happen, but my daughter and I were cracking up about it anyway.

That’s when I decided it was a good day to unplug and get some rest (plus watch a few episodes of Castle and pig out on healthy stuff).

And that is why this post is so lame today. Please excuse the mess.

Name that Park!

I have the most amazingfantasticsuperwonderful news to share. A Healing Place Monument has found a home. We have been offered a lovely piece of land in a city park somewhere in the Salt Lake Valley. It’s a perfectly beautiful secluded setting complete with water, ducks, and a bridge. Our dream is coming true. Take a look at the pictures. Do you know this park?

The first person to correctly guess the park will receive an autographed copy of Some Secrets Hurt along with a darling handmade blanket, made by my friend Lisa Rentfro.

The race is on. Name that Park!

Linda Garner

P.S.

This is not a contest to find a name for our monument. This is a contest to see if you recognize the park. Remember Name That Tune? Well now, it's Name That Park. Hint: It's in South Salt Lake.

Not That Writer Person

Because sometimes my characters don't always turn out they way they want to. Zombies. Hee hee.

Not Good Enough

Ever have one of those days? You know what I mean. The days when you wonder if you’re on the right track. The days when your doubts hang over you like shadows and you wonder if you’re good enough, smart enough, talented enough to follow your dreams.

I hate it when that happens.

I hate it when I feel like there’s not enough to go around. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough skill, not enough of me. Those dark feelings do not help me one bit and they’re hard to get rid of. Scarcity mentality. Not enough. Shake it off.

I had one of those days yesterday. I guess we all have them. Nothing was really wrong. I just felt overwhelmed and …not enough.

Scarcity mentality is all around us. Do we ever feel pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, rich enough? Do we ever feel enough? Media messages can be pretty harsh. We can be hard on each other. We can be hard on ourselves. What is reality? What is truth? Are we enough?

I hate scarcity mentality. I really do. I prefer abundance mentality. My life is abundant. I have so much. I have everything I need to succeed. The earth is full. There is enough and to spare.

We are what we think. When we think dark thoughts we get swallowed in darkness. When we choose to think positive thoughts, we choose to walk in light.

I have enough. I am enough. I choose to walk in light. Some days it comes naturally. Some days it’s hard.

How do you do it? How do you overcome discouragement and doubts? What works for you?

Linda Garner