Monday, October 25, 2010

On Being a Writer

I love being a writer! I hate being a writer! Have you ever said this to yourself?
Well, I have.
I love sitting at the computer creating a plot. Where will the twists and turns be? How will I craft a satisfying ending? What kind of people will my characters turn out to be? Will I fall in love with them? Will I hate them? I picture a scene in my head. Can I paint vivid word-pictures of it? What details do I want to add? Will there be any subtleties planted that will come to light later in the plot? My mind – no my whole being – is having a great time creating.
A rejection letter comes in the mail. I feel depressed. Obligations tug me away from my computer. No, they drag me from what I love to do. I feel irritated. Several days go by, and I haven’t been able to write. My stomach has a gnawing emptiness in it. The only thing that will fix it is writing, but I can’t today. A story is running over and over in my head. I have to write it down to get it to stop. I haven’t got time. I feel crazy!
I take stock of my situation. I’m depressed from the rejection letter. My stomach aches because I haven’t been writing, and I’m obsessing over a story in my head. I really am crazy!
I can’t go on this way, so I sit down and lay out a plan. My goal: to write as often as I can. It’s a priority, so I write early in the day before distractions overwhelm me. It’s a priority so I’m creative in working it into as much of my day as I can – a notebook in the doctor’s office; my laptop as I wait for a music lesson; a text message on my phone.
I am happy – a little crazy at times, but happy.


Meredith said...

Ugh, it's always such a roller coaster: there are some days where I'm so happy, and others where I feel like giving up. I love your writing in the morning idea--good luck!

Margo Berendsen said...

This is a great description! The "hate" part with me is very similar, when life gets in the way, and I lose my focus, and even when I can carve out an hour of time to write, nothing comes out because my mind is all in a pretzel with everything else I know I should be concentrating on.

Dawn said...

Not crazy. Just a writer.
Sit back and enjoy the ride, hon.

Lenny Lee! said...

wow! for sure that a real writer!
you just gotta be you and do what feel good for you.
...hugs from lenny

lotusgirl said...

I'm glad that you're still working at it. That's what we have to do. I often have those moments of self-doubt that make me wonder what I'm doing--think I hate writing, but I don't. I love it. I'm frustrated by it, but I love it.

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

Great post, Christy. You've described just how it feels!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Christy. You've put it in a nutshell. You're probably more disciplined than I am. If I start first thing in the morning, by 4PM I'm still in my pj's :} Thanks for the good words. I needed them today! Lynda Scott