Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Spray, Tug, Smooth, Hang to Dry

How do you feel about ironing? I am not a big fan of ironing, so I got a little excited when I saw something new in the detergent aisle at the grocery store. Well, it was new to me, but it may be old to you. I think it was called a wrinkle releaser. You spray it on your clothes (Hmmm, is that wet clothes, or dry clothes?) then you tug and smooth and let the article hang dry. Sounds great, doesn’t it. I was almost salivating, but then I wondered…Does it really work?

I’ve spent a lot of money over the years on stuff that was supposed to be fabulous, and really wasn’t, so I was a teeny bit suspicious about investing my $3.59 on an unproven product. Has anyone ever used this stuff? Does it work?

My second thought was, if it works…is it only for clothes? Is there a chance it could work on skin? Could I spray some on my face, then tug, smooth, and air dry. What a fun thought. No more crow’s feet. Smile lines begone. It’s a great idea, don’t you think.

And why stop there? I could use a little help ironing out the wrinkles in my life, couldn’t you? Family problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang to dry. Personal problems? Spray, tug, smooth, hang-dry. Kids giving you grief? Spray, tug, smooth, hang…dry. Tempting isn’t it.

And what about that writing glitch? The plot that won’t plot? The dialogue that’s stuck? The never ending story? A wrinkle in time? You know what I’m talking about. You’ve been there. How’d you like some magic spray? Quick run to the grocery store and grab a bottle. Spray, tug, smooth, and hang to dry.

Linda Garner

Scroll down to see me having breakfast with Erika Hansen. Erika Hansen is the former Miss Iron County. She entered the pageant on a platform of preventing sexual abuse. She is awesome. Read about her tomorrow, on my website blog at www.somesecretshurt.com.


L.T. Elliot said...

I'd buy that product...like NOW. Great post, Linda. I'm off to read the second one. =]

Carolyn V. said...

Two bottles please. =)

Houdini said...

As a man, I actually do all my own ironing, and while it is tedious, and I by no means am suggesting that it isn't a heavy chore on a typical mothers to do list, for me, it's theraputic. I enjoy ironing my own clothes!

They say that the Marine Corps ages you 4 years for every year you do on active duty, and I can say that my 30 year old face is starting to get crows feet (among other feet) but I like them. I know that sounds completely absurd and retarted, but for me, they are a testament to the experiences that have marked my life, and I value those experiences. I would never want to hide them.

Finally, what I wouldn't give to be able to use a product that would take the wrinkles out of our lives, our marriages, our childrens lives, etc. Then again, who would we be without the wrinkles in our lives? ... maybe we shouldn't answer that question...

Judith Mercado said...

This is why I know you're a Writer; yes, with a capital W. Because you took something ordinary like "a wrinkle releaser" and turned it into an object lesson about how we can all write better. Oh, and along the way you allayed my fear that you were promoting a product using the guerrilla tactics now promoted in advertising circles. Who know? I might still look for that product at the grocery store.

Linda Garner said...

Hi Judith,
I think that may be the nicest (with a capitol N) thing that anyone has ever said to me. Thankyou. It made my day. Love, Linda