What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

What do you say when you talk to yourself? Isn’t that a great question? Are you your own best friend, or your own worst enemy? Do you tear yourself down or do your build yourself up? Is your self talk encouraging and affirming, or is it negative and depressing?

Years ago I read a book with that exact title, What Do You Say When You Talk To Yourself. It’s an old book, but worth tracking down. It’s a fascinating read, full of information about self talk.

With all the negative and sometimes scary news in the world today, we need a voice of hope. We need to hear something positive and encouraging every day. Where are we going to go to hear that message? Maybe you can get it from the books you read and the music you listen to. Maybe you can get it at church. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have a friend with a positive voice.

What if you could be that friend? What if you could have a positive voice in your head, and the voice was your own? How would it change your life if you could say to yourself the things you wish others would say to you? The price is right and the words could be tailor-made to fit your needs. The voice would be familiar even if the words are new. The language would be the language of your heart spoken in your mother tongue.

What might your inner voice say to you if it was speaking from a place of hope and encouragement? Why not make a list? Why not start it today? You might include thoughts like: I am amazing. I am powerful. I am making good choices. I know who I am. I love myself. I am safe. I love my body. I love who I am. I have great ideas. I believe in myself. I trust myself. I am showing up for myself. I am confident. I am hopeful.

Those encouraging thoughts could also be about the world we live in. This is a great world we live in. Amazing opportunites are everywhere. The earth is full and rich. The earth is abundant. There is enough abundance for everyone. Abundance is coming to me. The world is a safe and inviting place. I am loved and supported. I am valued. I am protected. People support me. People show-up for me.

The thoughts we think are very powerful. If we think scarcity, we get scarcity. If we think abundance, we get abundance. If we think fear, we get frightened. We get more of what we focus our mind and our attention on. How much of our reality is controlled by our thoughts? Good question. Perhaps the answer is within you.

What do you say when you talk to yourself?

Linda Garner

Believe

Not being very sportsy, I haven’t played basketball much. A few days ago I got to watch my 12 years old grandson participate in a basketball camp. It was very interesting to watch. The boys were divided into groups of four with a high school mentor helping them with their skills. There was much attention to detail, such as how to hold your elbow when you shoot; when and how to use your toes; which muscles contribute to the power in your shot. Playing basketball is more than just accidental talent. It takes skills which can be carefully cultivated.

Life takes skills too; skills that can be carefully cultivated. I thought how nice it would be if we could have a little life skills camp. We could divide into groups of four with a carefully chosen mentor and we could practice our skills in classes like Courage For Beginners, Intermediate Trust, or Confidence 101. We could include things like how to deal with disappointment; how to keep trying when we feel like giving up; how to get along with difficult people.

Sometimes life is hard. We may struggle because we have been hurt. Maybe we have been told that we are not good enough. We may struggle under a burden of criticism, doubt, and blame. If we accept this negative programming, the battle will be long and there will be no victors. Perhaps we could learn in our life skills camp how to believe in ourselves; how to enjoy the journey; how to choose again.

Sometimes the enemy is within. We battle our own high expectations, often coming up short. We demand a degree of perfection that we cannot deliver. We may grapple with guilt, feelings of worthlessness, and shadowy fears. We beat ourselves up when we could be building ourselves up. We can be our own worst enemy. Wouldn’t you love a life skills camp that would teach us how to release our negative programming, how to love and support ourselves; how to be true to ourselves; how to remember who we really are.

I once read that most of our programming, both positive and negative, happens by the age of three. It sounds like we have been carrying those negative beliefs for a very long time. Isn’t it time for a change?

Do something kind for yourself today. Be willing to change some of that negative programming. Believe in yourself. Believe that you are good enough. Be your own best friend.

Believe.

Linda Garner