I’m reading a book called Hooked by Les Edgerton. It is a great read about hooking your reader in the first few lines of your book. I’m just learning about foreshadowing trouble in the first part of your book.
He quotes Jeffrey Deaver’s The Coffin Dancer
“When Edward Carney said good-bye to his wife, Percey, He never
thought it would be the last time he’d see her.”
Trouble ahead? I think so—especially with a title like Coffin Dancer.
Think of the first lines of some of the things you have written. Do they foreshadow trouble?
I’ve just rewritten the beginning of a middle-grade novel I’m trying to finish. At LDS Storymaker’s Boot Camp I got enough feedback to let me know I was doing a lot of telling and not much showing, so I’ve been editing. I’ve changed the first scene completely.
How does this sound?
Dre curled under the wool blanket woven by his father. Worry
darted back and forth in Dre’s belly like a scared rabbit.
He waited for sleep to come, but angry voices from the next
room chased it away. Thundering words bounced back and
forth across the adobe walls of his family dwelling.
I don’t know if this is better or not. I know I tell you all the time that I’m baby-stepping, and I really feel like it. I’d love you to share some of your first lines with me that foreshadow trouble ahead. Maybe you have good advice for me. I’m always up to learn something.
Happy foreshadowing! Christy