There have been times I've been guilty of blaming and lecturing my kids. If we are truthful, we've probably all been down this road. Is there a better way to handle the situation?
The answer is yes. For me, I have to take a little time out and calm myself down before I take care of the problem. While I'm 'timing myself out,' I remember to ask myself the following question:
What do I want my child to learn from this?
*An angry lecture tells the child he is at fault and worthless.
*A calm lecture tell the child he is at fault and the adult is in charge.
*Doling out the consequences tells the child he is at fault and the adult is in charge.
*A discussion tells the child he is of value and can get away with whatever he wants.
*A solution-focused discussion tells the child he is of value. He can solve problems and direct his own life.
Read more about this subject in Family Talk, by Christy Monson