Courage

Courage

          Here’s a sad, sad thing. I was looking back through my posts. I wrote this two years ago. And have I done what I said I would? No. So here’s a recommitment to myself to do what I’ve said I would in this blog.

Are you ever afraid? Well, I am. This entire week I have been arguing with myself about sending out query letters to agents. (I promised my critique group I’d start to send out a few letters for one of my books that’s finished.) I have now written about twenty-five drafts of my letter, and I can’t even tell if it’s good or not.

My letter and my synopsis are both ready to go, I guess. So what keeps me from pushing the SEND button? Well, for one thing, if I send the letter and am rejected then I can’t query that agent again. If I don’t send the letter, then maybe they would have accepted me if I had sent the letter. (Silly, I know, but it’s in my head.) For another thing, maybe my writing is not very good, and no one will want to read it. If I said this out loud at any of my three critique groups, they would massacre me on the spot. (So I keep quiet.) Here’s another great argument: I’m used to supporting others in becoming successful – like my husband, kids and friends, but not myself. (I know it’s a lame excuse.)

Okay, so I can identify my irrational thinking. But what do I do about it? Here’s my list:

1.      I run my letter and synopsis by my critique group and get their feedback. (Did it.)

2.      I set a goal and tell others about it so I’ll follow through. (I’m sending six letters this week.)

3.      I get support from my friends by letting them know how I feel. (Thanks for listening.)

4.      I keep positive thinking statements pasted on my computer so I can read them and turn my distorted thinking around.

“If you are lucky enough to find something you love, seek the courage to embrace it.”

 “Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.” Author unknown.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Choosing Light

Where were you on the morning of Sept 11, 2001? Do you remember?

I remember. For most of us, that moment will be permanently imprinted in memory: the moment we discovered that America had been betrayed. What did the betrayal feel like to you? Was it personal? Did you feel connected or detached? Were you angry, confused, frightened, sad, depressed, or all of the above?

A friend of mine who works in the mental health field reports that anxiety became rampant in wake of 9/11. She says that anxiety was relatively rare in the days before the terrorist attack and became widespread in the days and years that followed.

Not everyone gave in to terror. Some shelved their worries in a hidden place and buried them for another day. Some chose indifference. Some hardened their hearts. Others turned to faith.

Many chose prayer. A nation that had largely abandoned prayer suddenly became very prayerful…for a time. In a gesture of hope, my neighborhood displayed luminaries. We lit candles, laid them on a bed of sand in a one room paper house, and placed them near the street. A silent glow of unity lit our street against the ugliness of the day, and the shadowy curtain of night.

Things have changed since the day terror knocked on our front door. Security is the new game in town. War is our new neighbor. And for some, a new fear moved in to stay.

Is it a coincidence that ten years later our economy is close to ruin, taxes gnaw hungrily at our paychecks, beefy government fingers poke at every pie, and joblessness lives in the spare bedroom.

We voted for change, but not this change. We hoped for improvement. Government behaves badly, much like a chubby, spoiled, manipulative child. It stamps its feet and cries for its way. It bullies us and kicks us when we’re down.

When I was young, I thought the end of the world was around the next corner. This both thrilled and worried me, for I knew that it would be a great and simultaneously terrible day. Would I grow old enough to finish school? To marry? To be a mother? What kind of world would I introduce my children to?

As a young mother, I stewed about wars and rumors of wars. I wrinkled my forehead over earthquakes in diverse places. I watched for the moon to turn to blood. When I could afford to, I stored food and water and wheat. Lots of wheat. I stored fabric and flashlights. I stored batteries, and candles, and clothes.

I once had a depression coat, a walking to Missouri coat, just in case. It was ugly as sin, but it was sturdy and warm. I knew I would never wear it, unless there was a crisis, yet I clung to it like hope. I knew that it would keep me warm against a dark and sinister nameless storm.

The coat is gone, but I still store food, and also hope, for I have learned that storms are a part of life. The thunder and lightning may frighten me, but I have control. I can choose peace. I can choose gratitude. I can choose faith. The most dangerous storm is the one that rages in my mind. Shall I choose fear or faith? Shall I choose chaos or stillness?

I have learned that most storms pass and that if we are prepared we shall not fear. I have learned that the only true safety lies inside my heart, the hand of my neighbor, the touch of a friend. I have learned that peace lies not in absolute safety but in trust and in my bucket of faith. I have learned to cling to my family, to strengthen my friends, and to share that bucket of faith with those in need.

There are more earthquakes now, and they have moved closer. The voices of war grow louder. Peace is not for sale, but it is abundant even in the growing chaos. Would you like a drink from my bucket of faith? Here, take my hand.

Abundance is mine. Peace, joy, and trust are abundant for those who know where to look.

America has a wonderful way of reinventing itself. We still have a lot going for us. We have a lot to be thankful for. We can make a difference. Be part of the solution. Believe it or not, whining is not a solution. Become the change you long for.

Gather your family. Gather your stores. Gather your courage. Believe. Hope. Trust. Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.

9/11/2011. It’s a perfect day for finding peace. Light a candle of faith in your heart and feel the glow of peace. Hold it out against the darkness surrounding you. Refuse to give in to darkness. Choose light. Choose gratitude. Choose abundance.

Count your blessings. Rejoice in abundance. Share your gifts. Strengthen your faith.

Linda Garner

Courage Revisited

I am here to report that I have sent out 10 (that’s TEN) query letters. However, it’s only really eight because two of the web sites rejected the email. How do I feel about my accomplishment? About the same; I still don’t have the confidence in myself I want to have. Thank heavens for critique groups. They carry me through this time of personal insecurity.

When I say my affirmations, I feel like Bill Murray in What About Bob. “I feel good; I feel great; I feel wonderful.” But then I don’t really feel that way. So it’s an uphill battle, but I can feel myself inching up the hill. Each day I have a little more confidence than I did the day before.

The thing I come back to again and again is this: The reason I am writing is because I love to write. It is so much fun to craft a story, and the pleasure I get from it is indescribable. I love my characters – from young grade school boys and girls running across the desert or hiding from the Nazis, my first-graders fooling around with their karaoke machine or trying to control their parrot and my preschoolers resisting bedtime or racing with a giraffe across the Savannah. I have so much fun with them all.

What a great blessing it is to be a writer! What a wonderful opportunity to generate something no one has ever thought of before. My stories are what I think about when I have nothing to think about. I can be waiting in a doctor’s office or sitting in traffic and be having the best time of my life making up a story or crafting a scene. Like I’ve said before, maybe I’m crazy. I have relationships with people in my head that no one knows about. What would a “shrink” say about that?

Since I am a retired “shrink,” I can answer my own question. My creativity is fun, healthy, and I’m having a ball – if I can just keep those query letters going out! Another report next week.

Christy Monson

PS If anyone has any great advice, let me know.

Courage

Courage

Are you ever afraid? Well, I am. This entire week I have been arguing with myself about sending out query letters to agents. Elana Johnson’s workshop at the League of Utah Writers Conference on querying was informative and insightful. I have now written about twenty-five drafts of my letter, and I can’t even tell if it’s good or not.

My letter and my synopsis are both ready to go, I guess. So what keeps me from pushing the SEND button? Well, for one thing, if I send the letter and am rejected then I can’t query that agent again. If I don’t send the letter, then maybe that agent would have accepted me if I had sent the letter. (Silly, I know, but it’s in my head.) For another thing, maybe my writing is not very good, and no one will want to read it. If I said this out loud at any of my three critique groups, they would massacre me on the spot. (So I keep quiet.) Here’s another great argument: I’m used to supporting others in becoming successful – like my husband, kids and friends, but not myself. (I know it’s a lame excuse.)

Okay, so I can identify my irrational thinking. But what do I do about it? Here’s my list:

1.      I run my letter and synopsis by my critique group and get their feedback. (Did it.)

2.      I set a goal and tell others about it so I’ll follow through. (I’m sending six letters this week.)

3.      I get support from my friends by letting them know how I feel. (Thanks for listening.)

4.      I keep positive thinking statements pasted on my computer so I can read them and turn my distorted thinking around.

“If you are lucky enough to find something you love, seek the courage to embrace it.”

 “Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.” Author unknown.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Christy Monson

Just Like Christmas

It was just like Christ-mas. That darling fed ex man left a package on my door. I couldn’t wait to open it, because I knew what was inside. It was the galleys for my book, Some Secrets Hurt. Was it a stubborn package, or was I all thumbs? Friend Husband had to help me.

My heart was dancing as we pulled out the beautiful pages and gazed at them in wonder. My dream is coming true. The artwork is lovely, the layouts are perfect, and the words are meaningful. The message is real and helpful. It is a message of hope and a message of healing. This project was inspired and I really cannot take the credit for it, but I am so grateful to have been included.

In my experience far too many lives have been damaged by sexual abuse. It is a rare family that has not experienced this heartbreaking betrayal of trust. It is time that a caring community steps up to the challenge and begins to put kids first.

According to the Parent Handbook distributed by the Salt Lake County Children’s Justice Center “Current statistics show that one out of every four girls and one out of every six boys will be sexually abused by the time they reach adulthood. People who sexually abuse children are rarely strangers to the child victim. In fact, the abuser is most often well known to the child (i.e. a relative, family friend, or neighbor). Abusers can be male or female; adult or juvenile; of any race, religion, or socio-economic status.”

If that doesn’t frighten you, you need to read it again.

Some Secrets Hurt is for everyone. It can be a child’s first instruction in avoiding the nightmare of sexual abuse. It can be a tool for a parent who wants to prevent sexual abuse. It provides information for a parent who has discovered sexual abuse and is unsure of the next step. It can strengthen a child who is experiencing sexual abuse, and help them find the courage to tell. It can promote comfort and healing for those who have unresolved issues relating to sexual abuse.

Who is Some Secrets Hurt for? Who is it not for? If you are a child, if you have a child, if you know a child, if you have been a child, Some Secrets Hurt is for you.

Some Secrets Hurt is being published by Shadow Mountain and will be released September 16. Every home should have one. My hope is that it will make a difference for children and families everywhere. Won’t you join me, and stand up now for our kids.

Linda Garner

P.S. My thanks to Brandilyn Speth, my talented friend and illustrator. Her illustrations are magic. You will love them. My thanks to all the wonderful people at Shadow Mountain who are making my dream come true. We would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact us: LindaGarner@somesecretshurt.com, Brandilyn@somesecretshurt.com Watch for our informative website: http://www.somesecretshurt.com/. Coming soon!