I am here to report that I have sent out 10 (that’s TEN) query letters. However, it’s only really eight because two of the web sites rejected the email. How do I feel about my accomplishment? About the same; I still don’t have the confidence in myself I want to have. Thank heavens for critique groups. They carry me through this time of personal insecurity.
When I say my affirmations, I feel like Bill Murray in What About Bob. “I feel good; I feel great; I feel wonderful.” But then I don’t really feel that way. So it’s an uphill battle, but I can feel myself inching up the hill. Each day I have a little more confidence than I did the day before.
The thing I come back to again and again is this: The reason I am writing is because I love to write. It is so much fun to craft a story, and the pleasure I get from it is indescribable. I love my characters – from young grade school boys and girls running across the desert or hiding from the Nazis, my first-graders fooling around with their karaoke machine or trying to control their parrot and my preschoolers resisting bedtime or racing with a giraffe across the Savannah. I have so much fun with them all.
What a great blessing it is to be a writer! What a wonderful opportunity to generate something no one has ever thought of before. My stories are what I think about when I have nothing to think about. I can be waiting in a doctor’s office or sitting in traffic and be having the best time of my life making up a story or crafting a scene. Like I’ve said before, maybe I’m crazy. I have relationships with people in my head that no one knows about. What would a “shrink” say about that?
Since I am a retired “shrink,” I can answer my own question. My creativity is fun, healthy, and I’m having a ball – if I can just keep those query letters going out! Another report next week.
PS If anyone has any great advice, let me know.