Choose Again Part 2
It was at a piano teachers’ workshop that I heard the words, “If you’re hurting somewhere, that’s where you’re holding on.” Our instructor was talking about the correct use of the body. She was teaching us how to relax our bodies and let go of tension in order to improve our sound. When I heard those words, I was not just thinking about playing the piano. I was thinking about my life, and I felt electricity go through my body as I recognized the kernel of truth in her statement.
You see, I was hurting in lots of places, but not physically. I was hurting emotionally. I began to consider the possibility that I was in charge of my pain. I began to consider the possibility that I could release pain, by letting go. I began to question myself about things I was holding on to. Was it time to let go?
I discovered that I was holding on to anger, grief, sadness. I discovered that I was holding on to control and unrealistic expectations. I discovered that I was holding on to judgment, disapproval, and blame. These emotions were no longer serving me and they were making me tired, anxious, and depressed. Even worse, the negative emotions I was addicted to were making me sick.
Over time, I have learned more about releasing negative emotions. At first, it was difficult to let go. For one thing, I didn’t really know how. Also I was afraid to let go. I was addicted to being right. I was addicted to fixing things, and people. I can really only fix one person and that is me. It turned out that fixing me involved letting go.
Letting go has been a journey. I want to stay on that path. I have come a long way. There is more to do, but for today, I no longer need to be right. I no longer need to fix people. I love letting go of things that no longer serve me. I love letting go of anger, grief, sadness, and unrealistic expectations. Letting go turned out to be more powerful than holding on. The negative emotions I was carrying were hurting me; holding me back.
It’s interesting to note, that as I have learned to let go of emotional baggage, I have also been able to let go of physical debris. You see, I am a world class saver. I am surrounded by stuff that I no longer need. I am constantly dejunking. I have piles that are older than your children. The more I let go of emotional stuff, the more I am able to let go of physical stuff. It seems there is connection between emotional dejunking and physical dejunking.
As I let go of emotional baggage, my body is beginning to heal. I feel better. I have more energy. I am more content. I love myself more. My body took a big hit from all the emotional garbage it was forced to carry for me. My body showed up for me 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year. I never had a better friend.
What’s holding you back? If you’re hurting somewhere, that’s where you’re holding on. Is it time to let go? Maybe it’s time to Choose Again.
Linda Garner
2 comments:
I am always touched by your posts. This one in particular means a great deal to me. I know there are things I need to let go of and hearing you tell your journey of letting go, in a strange way gives me permission to do so also.
It surprises me to hear you say you've struggled because you have always been such a wonderful example of kindness, love, and acceptance. You are one of my favorite people.
Take care.
Love,
L.T.
You're such a sweetie Lexi. Yes, I've had my share of struggles. I think everyone has. I'm glad you are ready to let go. I definitely give you permission. It feels great. I promise. Love, LG
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