Do not use lappy with:
- Chocolate cream filled pastries, the kind that are tempting at midnight
- Real vanilla ice cream with homemade fudge toppings
- Any type of homemade cookies – especially with pink fluffy icing
- You find your rear not fitting on the couch as comfortably as last year
- Cravings of said pastries, fudge topping, or cookies persist or get worse when you write or pick up your laptop
- Symptoms do not improve or get worse
- You find yourself plotting when is the best time to write and eat those delicious fruit filled donuts without the kids finding out, so you won’t have to share
- Put down that chocolate carb filled delicacy
- Find a gym immediately
- Don’t call 911 or your mother-in-law to complain, neither will appreciate it
- Start writing a technical research paper (this cures all)
- Do not use laptop if a ten pound bag of caramels has just been purchased
- You are experiencing writer’s block and believe they only way to resolve it is to take a break and crack open that box of triple fudge chocolate chip brownies, (JUST SAY NO)
If you fear you have writer’s butt, please see a treadmill immediately.
Why or why didn’t anyone warn me about writer’s butt?