Thursday, July 9, 2009

General Doctors Warning….Beware of Writer’s Butt

WARNING:

Do not use lappy with:

  • Chocolate cream filled pastries, the kind that are tempting at midnight
  • Real vanilla ice cream with homemade fudge toppings
  • Any type of homemade cookies – especially with pink fluffy icing
Stop Use and Ask Doctor If:

  • You find your rear not fitting on the couch as comfortably as last year
  • Cravings of said pastries, fudge topping, or cookies persist or get worse when you write or pick up your laptop
  • Symptoms do not improve or get worse
  • You find yourself plotting when is the best time to write and eat those delicious fruit filled donuts without the kids finding out, so you won’t have to share
In case of Accidental creative overdose:

  • Put down that chocolate carb filled delicacy
  • Find a gym immediately
  • Don’t call 911 or your mother-in-law to complain, neither will appreciate it
  • Start writing a technical research paper (this cures all)


Other Information:

  • Do not use laptop if a ten pound bag of caramels has just been purchased
  • You are experiencing writer’s block and believe they only way to resolve it is to take a break and crack open that box of triple fudge chocolate chip brownies, (JUST SAY NO)

If you fear you have writer’s butt, please see a treadmill immediately.

Why or why didn’t anyone warn me about writer’s butt?

10 comments:

Melissa Marsh said...

Why is it that we get in the snacking mood when we sit down to write? I could consume an entire bag of Dove Dark Chocolate without even realizing it!

L.T. Elliot said...

They probably didn't warn you because you hardly have a butt at all. *sheesh*

Carolyn V. said...

Melissa, I have to confess. I just ate a bag of mini brownies and a hot pocket. I don't know why I have to eat when I'm writing. *sigh*

L.T. Like...Whatever =)

Linda Garner said...

Pass the chocolate, please. Love, LG

Weston Elliott said...

I think it's because when you eat, your jaw is moving, which is connected to your skull, which in turn stimulates your brain! This is why snacking on long drives keeps you awake.

Amber Lynae said...

LOL Carolyn You have me laughing. I think that there is something that God put in our treats that feeds our muse. She is the one demanding the food but I'm the one gaining the weight. It isn't quite fair. I should be able to send her to the gym while I take a nap. :)

Carolyn V. said...

Weston, I love to snack on trips. I must have either an amazing brain or a sluggish one. I've going with amazing! woo hoo!

Linda, I'm passing it along with all the hot fudge you can handle. Hot fudge. *drool*

Hey Amber! My muse is searching for a bar of chocolate right now. I keep saying, "Yummy, fat free popcorn," but my muse says, "There's a big bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard. All alone." It looks like its the treadmill for me.

The Dixon Family said...

I love the comment about eating junk on the sly so you don't have to share, I do that too. You're so funny!

Carolyn V. said...

I learned it from my mom. She hid a bag of chocolate chips in back of the cupboard so she didn't have to share with anyone. Except I caught her. =) She was so sly.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hee hee--this is so funny. And boo hoo--this is so true! I have lost most of the 10 pounds I gained in May and I tell myself it is b/c of this and that but I think it's mostly because I finished writing my latest book. (Isn't sugar essential when being creative? I'm pretty sure it is . .. )